I Need Your Help
by AgentRez
Summary: A continuation of the final exchange between Jack and Tony in 7x10. If you are behind on season 7 don't read.


_This is an extended version of the final scene between Jack and Tony on the steps in front of the Capitol Reflecting Pool in the 5 PM episode of season 7. It picks up right where that scene ended, with Tony putting his hand on Jack's shoulder and saying "I need your help". I loved that scene and wanted more of it, so I thought I'd write more of it and try to explain why Jack seemed so cold towards Tony and so reluctant to help. One-shot for now, but I may add more later depending on what goes down on the actual show. Reviews are very much appreciated and give me the motivation to write more, so if you like my writing and want more please review. Or even if you don't like my story or think it could be better, feel free to tell me that too. I appreciate constructive feedback even if it's not all positive._

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"I need your help," Tony pleads, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder, appealing to the unspoken agreement they'd had for so many years to come to each other's aid when one of them needed the other, hoping it still applied in spite of everything.

"Why is this the first time you're asking?" Jack asks as Tony starts to walk away. Tony turns back around and looks at Jack curiously.

"I just found out about this, Jack. I came to you as soon as I got the information."

"No, I mean why did you never contact me while I thought you were dead? I could have helped you."

Tony sighs and sits back down.

"I tried to at the beginning, but you were nowhere to be found. I initially thought you wanted to disappear again, and I thought about contacting some of the people I thought you might use but I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize your cover. I didn't know until months later that you had been captured by the Chinese."

"I've been out of China for four years, Tony. How come you never contacted me all this time?"

"Because by the time you got back I was in too deep. I had already tried to helped plant a bomb at Logan's presidential retreat, hacked into the CTU subnet to delete any information they had that could lead them to me and my crew, and been involved with other projects that I knew I could go to jail for. I knew if I contacted you you would try to get me to turn myself in and cut a deal by giving up Emerson and the rest of the crew, and I couldn't do that. As bad as what they were doing was they had been good to me, and I wasn't about to sell them out just to save my own ass. Besides, from what I could tell it didn't seem like you really wanted to be found."

Jack sighs. As much as he doesn't want to admit it he knows Tony is right.

"I thought about contacting you later, when I found out about the CIP device, but I knew you had been placed under supervision while awaiting the Senate hearing…it was too risky."

"So that's how Emerson got you on board? He told you he would help you take out Logan to get revenge for Michelle's death?" Jack asks.

"Something like that, yeah," Tony admits. "It wasn't about revenge as much as it was about the need to make sure he got what he deserved. Once it became clear that the government wasn't going to make him pay, I figured it was up to us. Unfortunately, the plan got screwed up when the Secret Service got wind of an intrusion on their two-ways and switched frequencies. I punched in the code on my phone to detonate the thing two seconds before David called to tell me to stand down. So instead of taking out Logan, I ended up killing one Secret Service agent and critically wounding another," he says in a matter-of-fact tone.

"And that didn't bother you?" Jack asks with disbelief.

"Of course it bothered me, Jack," Tony says exasperatedly. "I wanted to take out Logan…I never meant for anyone else to get hurt. But there was nothing I could do about it. What was done was done and I couldn't take it back."

Jack sighs, thinking back to his argument with Renee at the hospital a little while ago. He doesn't want to sympathize or identify with Tony because to do so would be to acknowledge that Tony's not the only one who has lost some of his humanity and hardened himself to the point where he can accept the loss of innocent lives. So he reminds himself that the circumstances were different, telling himself that he was acting to serve the greater good while Tony was merely trying to satisfy his own selfish desire for revenge.

"You're right, you couldn't," Jack says icily. "But you didn't have to go on killing and stealing and doing whatever else Emerson had you do for the next four years. Was it really all about the money?" he asks, still finding it hard to believe that money alone could motivate Tony to participate in some of the same activities they'd both spent years at CTU trying to stop.

Tony sighs. "I've asked myself that a lot lately, and there's no easy answer. As hard as it is for you to believe, money was part of it…since everyone thought I was dead all my savings and assets from my business were passed to my two brothers. I didn't have any money in my name and there weren't many legitimate employment opportunities available to someone who would become a prime suspect for murder and attempted assassination the minute I stopped playing dead. But it wasn't just about the money…like I said before when we were with Emerson, I was convinced that the rules had changed. I guess I figured they didn't apply to me since the government that was supposed to uphold those rules had betrayed me after everything I'd sacrificed. And like I said, I was already guilty of crimes that would put me in jail for the rest of my life if I got caught, so I didn't really have a lot of other options or a whole lot to lose. I'd have thought you of all people would understand."

"Understand what?" Jack snaps angrily. "The desire to go around committing crimes because you've got nothing better to do?"

"No. The feeling of betrayal when you realize that no matter how much you sacrifice in service to the government, they just keep screwing you over whenever they don't think you're useful to them. Didn't it bother you that the government left you to rot in a Chinese prison for almost two years and then only negotiated for your freedom when they wanted you to go on a suicide mission?"

"Of course it bothered me, Tony," Jack says with disbelief, as if Tony is crazy for even asking him that.

"But yet you agreed to do it," Tony says dryly. "You were willing to keep sacrificing yourself no matter how many times they screwed you over. I guess there's something noble about that, but at the time I just thought there was something wrong with you. You might have been willing to keep sacrificing yourself but I wasn't…I was angry and felt betrayed and I was done sacrificing. I figured there was nothing left worth sacrificing for so I may as well just take care of myself for a change. Part of me wishes I shared your unyielding sense of dedication and duty but I don't…I'm not a saint like you and I'm not sure I'd even want to be."

"I'm hardly a saint, Tony," Jack says with irritation. "And as far as I know, I'm going to be facing the rest of my life in prison too."

"You really think they're going to put you in jail after everything you've accomplished today?" Tony asks with disbelief.

"I've broken the law more times than I can count," Jack answers without emotion. "It doesn't really matter why I was doing it. At the end of the day we both have to face the consequences."

"I know. And I'm prepared to face the consequences for my actions too," Tony says with conviction. "I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, and I'm ready to turn myself in and deal with the repercussions. But I just want to finish this first."

"So finish it," Jack says apathetically. "You don't need me for it."

"Yes, I do," Tony says firmly. "I told you before, I think you've done more than your fair share already and I wouldn't ask for your help if I could do this myself. But I'm a fugitive…Burnett's on his way to the White House and I can't get to him without getting arrested."

Jack contemplates for a second. He knows Tony is right but he, too, is tired of putting himself on the line to protect the country only to be punished for it. He made a decision after leaving Heller's beach house that he had done his part, and until today he has left the job up to others. He knows that if Tony is telling the truth, stopping the attack will require him to once again break protocol and go to extremes and end up in the hot seat for it when the crisis is over, and he's just not sure he's up for that anymore, especially right after getting nothing but grief from Renee after helping to take down Dubaku.

"I don't get it…I thought you said you were tired of sacrificing to protect this country. Why are you so determined to be involved all of a sudden?" he asks Tony suspiciously. If he can convince himself that Tony's motives are less than pure it might make it easier for Jack to say no and avoid getting sucked in.

Tony sighs, trying to figure out how to explain. "Listen, Jack, I don't have time to explain right now, but something happened a few months ago that made me realize how messed up I was. Something happened that made me realize that if Michelle were here she wouldn't even recognize the person I've become, she'd be so disgusted with me," he admits. His voice chokes up a little, revealing a small crack in the cold, hardened exterior that has been on display all day.

"And that never occurred to you before that?" Jack asks with disbelief.

"No, because I refused to think about it. The truth is, I refused to think about her much at all for a while, because it was easier to dwell on my anger than to deal with my grief. Being angry protected me from that horrible feeling of emptiness that I got whenever I thought about how much I missed her," Tony admits, struggling to keep from breaking down.

Jack sighs, trying as hard as he can not to feel sympathetic or admit to himself how much he can relate to Tony's emotions.

"So what? You think you can play the hero by giving me this information in time to stop this attack and it'll make up for everything else?" Jack asks hostilly, angered at the idea that Tony thinks he can earn redemption for years of selfish crimes so easily when he has struggled for years to make peace with himself over things he did in service to the country.

"No," Tony says firmly. "There's nothing I can do to make up for what I did before and I know that. The blood on my hands...is something I'm going to have to live with no matter what. And I'm not looking for a deal or a way to get a lighter sentence…if I did I would have brought the intel I just got to the FBI and used it to try to negotiate. I gave you my word that I would turn myself in and I will…I'm prepared to spend the rest of my life in jail and I deserve it. But before I do, I just want to do what I can," he says softly but with determination.

Jack sighs, conflicted about what to do or even what to feel. He sees now that Tony just wants a chance to help, to do something to serve his country before facing the consequences of his actions. Tony is looking for redemption just as he did. Part of him is still angry and resentful that Tony could lose sight of right and wrong when he had fought so hard to avoid going down that same path. But part of him sympathizes more than he cares to admit, and after everything they've been through, part of him feels that he owes his friend that much.

Tony seems to read Jack's mind and addresses his dilemma. "Listen, Jack, I know you're angry and disgusted with me and you probably find it hard to trust me and I don't blame you. I'm not sure I'd trust me given the circumstances. But this isn't about me. Innocent people could die if we don't stop this attack, and I know you. I know that you couldn't live with yourself if you let that happen."

Tony pauses, then puts his hand on Jack's shoulder once again and looks him in the eye. "I need you to see this through with me," he pleads, remembering the words Jack said to him all those years ago when he was bitter and demoralized and didn't want to go on helping but knew Jack and the country needed him.

Jack sighs heavily, knowing that Tony is right. He can't turn away no matter how much he wants to. He can't sit back and let innocent people die, and no matter how angry he is he can't turn his back on a friend who's gone through so much with him and because of him.

"I need to go change. Meet me at First and Constitution in 15 minutes," he says reluctantly as he gets up.

"Alright," Tony agrees.

"Hey Jack?" he calls as they start to part ways. Jack turns around. "Thanks," he says in a tone that is casual but genuine, showing that it means a lot.

"Yeah," Jack mutters, looking Tony in the eye for a second before turning to go.


End file.
